I have been very lucky and I have bred some wonderful horses in my younger days all of whom I had kept for life, and enjoyed a fabulous partnership with, so when I returned to riding after a gap of 17 years and the fabulous Lexy (WBxID) came into my life I thought I’d give breeding one more go.
I need to add that Lexy was one of my many heart horses. She had great bloodlines, had a wonderful temperament, confirmation and talent so I was excited to see what she would “produce”. “Daddy” was selected (Rhodium WB) and I was delighted that Lexy took first time and the waiting began! On 12th April 2017 her foal, Lilly, arrived into our world.
Our new journey began and at the RHS 2017, she won foal at foot in the Sports Horse Classes. In 2020, she won 2nd place as a 3 year old. She oozed expression, had fabulous paces, and a temperament to match. It seemed to be going well and I was delighted.
I backed Lilly myself, but then my health took a turn. After three spinal operations my confidence with Lilly had taken a hit and so while I recovered, Lilly went to a trusted friend to further her education and when I felt physically better I went to visit and to ride Lilly.
However, it didn’t go well and I thought OMG what have I done! She had such a huge movement and my back was failing me. I felt she was going to be too much for my broken back, so I put her up for sale. That is another painful story all of its own. However, as a result , I decided that I needed to man up as I wasn’t sure if I had I really given us a chance to get going. So, I changed my mind and vowed to face the challenge head on. I had bred her to be exactly what I had wanted and so I owed it to us to give this a good go.
By this time, Lilly was now five and the next phase of our journey began when Equiteam came into our lives. I’m sure many people will have heard Liz’s recollections of the first time she met Lilly – another story all of its own which resulted in a loose horse with no bridle on! But at this point I was fully committed to the creation of a dressage diva and I was determined that with the help and support around me that Lily would be my next horse for life.
Off the horse I worked hard on my own fitness. On my horse all I can say is “wow”. We did so much. As the pictures show, Lilly really was a looker who proved to have wonderful paces, be full of sass, and be incredibly opinionated – but she was never nasty. However, she was most certainly spooky and sensitive and challenging. So we embarked on an endless campaign of coaching, camps, dressage competitions, arena hires.. You name it we tried it! All to try and tame her enthusiasm, build her self belief and help her to relax.
Every dressage test we did – and I do mean EVERY test – spoke of a lovely talented horse who held tension. In fact, she even showed a lovely piaffe at a prelim test which earned the comment that the movement not required at this level!
We did have some good days though – we qualified for the British Dressage Petplan Area Festivals a few times, and even got a tag along qualification for British Riding Club Championships! Sadly, we had to withdraw when we arrived in Lincoln to compete as the atmosphere was too much for Lilly and she couldn’t contain herself.
However, I felt that the tough times just kept coming and that on balance they completely outweighed the good times. I felt that we were stuck in this flip/flop of extremes – glimmers of hope that put me on a high only to then crash back down – sometimes literally with the next ride. This wasn’t an enjoyable rollercoaster. It felt like a complete nightmare – emotional and painful for us both (and I’m sure at times for those around us !!!).
We tried so many different things to try to find a balance. From supplements to physio, reiki and in-hand work. I even sent her away for schooling but still it wasn’t working.
Things came to head in January 2024 when Lilly was eight and we competed at Howe. We produced two consistent wonderful tests at prelim and novice and scored over 66% in both. I was so delighted and spent the day beaming. I was beyond cloud nine and I cried all the way home! Why? Because I felt huge relief that we had finally got somewhere after all the years and after the literal blood, sweat and tears.
I was so emotional to have been able to ride two lovely dressage tests and there was no drama! This was such a big deal. We had walked, trotted and cantered evenly on both reins which was literally something I had spent nearly four years trying to achieve. It shouldn’t have been this hard, and it was in that moment I realised that Lilly just didn’t want to do dressage.
I had an epiphany that I was letting her down with this constant battle of wills to get her to be “what she was bred for”, and she was trying every way possible to tell me she didn’t want to be that horse. Ohhhhhh..
Time for a change
Although it was incredibly difficult, my decision was made. Lilly deserved a different job, one that she could enjoy because neither of us were enjoying this one and it was making us both miserable.
Lilly had always been what can only be described as an over enthusiastic jumper and had shown real scope and bravery in the very little I had done with her. So to explore this, I sent her to a showjumper to see if this could be her new job.
And she loved it… her wee face literally lit up. She was looking relaxed and happy with each jump she did. I realised she had found her vocation. So now for the difficult bit putting her up for sale. Why difficult? Not because I didn’t know it was the right thing to do for her, but because I needed this special girl to find her special person,
And that is exactly what happened! She found her person, a lovely lady in Yorkshire, and she moved there in August 2025. She’s now competing at British Novice and loving it! When I see the photos of her, I know that if a horse could, SHE would be positively beaming! I am beyond happy for her and have shed many happy tears. I feel not just joy but relief and pride that my lovely home bred has found her happy place. It many not have been the place I would have predicted, but we have to listen to them, and now she is loving life.
I didn’t go and say goodbye to her, it was too painful. I received a photo of her walking onto the trailer and I felt such shame that I hadn’t done it sooner, and that I had let her down in my own quest for a dressage partner.
Lilly taught me so much, and probably more about me than anything else. She will always have a huge place in my heart as my last home bred and I am so proud she has found her place in this world where she can flourish and do what she enjoys.
Once Lilly had been sold my equestrian journey took a turn and led me to open my heart up to a different adventure with my new boy, a big, long-legged gentleman who loves dressage as much as I do. I have no doubt that it will have its ups and downs but I’m embracing the new challenge as we take our time to build the foundations our partnership for years to come.
In reflection I have learned that we should never forget it takes two to make a relationship work. It doesn’t matter how much you try, if one of you isn’t loving the journey, it can become toxic for you both.
If you find yourself in this situation I really do sympathise as it is really emotionally hard – but my advice would be to cut the strings, let them and you find a new direction because your horse will probably be happier too. It might feel final, and like a failure but you never know what door will open next – for me, I have finally rediscovered the joy of horses.
Lucy x
If you enjoyed reading this blog then you might also like ‘Right Horse, Wrong Time’.
