Confidence and mindset coach Jane Brindley from Horse Riding with Confidence Scotland shares her top tips for dealing with your mindset.
Two of the most common issues I come across with riders are anxiety caused by constantly trying to answer the question “what if?” and struggling to “let go” of negative experiences.
Here are my five top tips for dealing with each of these two challenges.
Dealing with the ‘Pesky What Ifs’
Having “What If” thoughts is really common, and they aren’t necessarily negative thoughts of course, but for most of the riders who ask me for help to deal with these they are definitely unhelpful thoughts which interfere with the rider’s ability to make the most of their riding opportunities.
1. A potential threat?
“What Ifs” are thoughts which are trying to protect you from a potential threat (NOT an actual threat). Remember that thoughts are NOT predictors of a certain outcome, they are just thoughts.
2. Ask yourself what you are thinking about
Take a metaphorical step away from the thought by saying to yourself, something along the lines of “I notice that I am thinking that X/Y/Z could happen.” Asking yourself this question immediately breaks the chain of thought and allows you to begin to understand that the “What If” thought is not real.
3. Focus on what you DO want to happen
Riders who worry about the “What Ifs” tend to be focused on trying to prevent the things that they DON’T want to happen. Practice flipping this round and learn to focus on what you DO want to happen e.g. Instead of “What if I make a fool of myself by falling off?” or “What if a big tractor comes round the corner when I’m out on a hack?” Learn to focus on riding your horse positively in the direction of your choice at the pace of your choice. If you are constantly focusing on being defensive then that will be reflected in your riding and in how you feel about riding.
4. Positive visualisation
Further to Point 3, learn the useful skill of visualisation and practice it. Regularly visualising your riding in a helpful and a positive manner, using ALL of your senses, will really help to set you up to handle any doubts when they creep into your mind.
5. Take action
Rather than falling into the trap of thinking you will wait until you aren’t anxious about trying something before you do it…. DO SOMETHING… book some lessons to help you develop your riding skills, do some fitness/strength/balance training so that you are physically more able to handle unexpected movement/changes of direction/spooks etc. Ask a friend to keep you company and distract you from the “what ifs” when you’re riding. Book some confidence and mindset coaching sessions.
Avoiding riding, or avoiding riding outside of your comfort zone will only serve to strengthen any anxiety. TAKE ACTION.
Dealing with ‘letting go’ of negative experiences
Your brain is hardwired to remember past experiences – both good and bad – but it does have a strong negative bias which means that negative events do tend to stick unfortunately.
Your brain will very quickly pattern match sensations and environments to those things which it has previously encountered and it reacts very rapidly in order to protect you from what it perceives as a threat.
The good news is that your brain is also well able to form new neural connections and with knowledge, support and practice you can re-wire it to give more helpful reactions to events.
Five top tips for letting go of negative experiences
1. Learn about your brain
Learn more about how your brain works in order to help you to understand why you react in certain ways at certain times. (Google “Pattern matching stress response” and this will give you loads of readable links).
2. Be careful of embellishing
Avoid re-telling what has happened to you. When you re-tell a “story” e.g. about a fall or a riding incident, we all have a tendency to embellish the account making it sound more dramatic or scary than it perhaps was – everyone likes a bit of drama don’t they?!!
The risk here is that the new, embellished, version becomes your reality and this new memory becomes more deeply embedded into your mind!
My advice is that when something happens discuss it with your coach or with a trusted friend so that you can work out what happened and why in order to learn.
Then leave it and don’t repeat the account.
3. Let it go
Find a phrase which works for you and repeat it frequently after an incident. I like “LET IT GO”.
You can even imagine that you are metaphorically throwing the memory away or dumping it in the bin in order to get rid of it.
4. Focus on the present
Remind yourself to focus on the present and not on the past. Rather than dwelling on what may have happened last time you rode, be more aware of what’s happening in the present. Use breathing and physical relaxation to let go of any tension and keep your communication going with your horse by doing lots of transitions, rein changes etc to keep his brain occupied.
5. Ask for help
If you struggle to let go of previous events then seek help and support from a coach or from someone like me who will have a box full of additional techniques which can help you to move on from any trauma or unpleasant memories.
Any questions, please just ask.
Jane x
Jane is a confidence and mindset coach who has been working with horse riders, at all levels, since 2004 when she set up her business Horse Riding with Confidence Scotland. She uses hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, NLP and performance coaching to help riders overcome anxiety, grow in self belief and resilience and develop a strong mindset for performance.
You can read other blogs from Jane in Over the Stable Door including What is Confidence?
