In my last Equiteam blog post; we looked at a couple of very common mindset issues namely dealing with ‘what ifs’ and learning to ‘let go’.
In part two of a short series we will look at ‘perfectionism’ and ‘over-thinking’ which are both very common issues that I come across when working with riders.
Dealing with perfectionism
Perfectionism can be seen to be both good and bad, helpful and unhelpful.
Striving to be the very best you can be, to ‘perfect’ a movement or score a ten, can be seen as a positive. On the other hand, to feel that you are never good enough, to focus on the small mistakes rather than on the overall picture is unhelpful and can lead to frustration, anxiety and depression.
But does perfection even exist?
This is a question we could spend hours discussing and still not come up with a definitive answer!
My five top tips to help
1. A Growth Mindset
Work on developing a growth mindset where you believe that you can learn, make progress from your efforts. Enjoying the process rather than being totally focussed on the outcome.
2. Challenge your inner critic
Learn to challenge that hyper critical inner voice telling you that you aren’t good enough or that you will never be good enough. Remind yourself of all of the things that you have achieved, great and small, so far in your life. Recognise and challenge ‘black and white thinking’ where anything less than perfection feels like a failure.
3. Goal setting
Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. When you do this you are setting yourself up for success and are more likely to enjoy the process of learning and gaining experience.
4. Make mistakes
Allow yourself to make mistakes so that you can learn that a mistake isn’t a ‘disaster’! This can be a tricky one so seek support if you need it.
5. Be the best you can be
Strive to be the very best that you can be and enjoy the moments of ‘perfection’ that you experience along the way. Moments of perfection will have a different meaning for each of you.
Dealing with overthinking
This might well be the most common mindset issue that I come across in my work with equestrian clients.
‘I AM AN OVERTHINKER… IT’S EXHAUSTING… HELP!’
We all over think sometimes and yes, it IS exhausting (and not helpful).
I’m sure you can imagine the thought process.
You’re getting ready to ride and the thoughts might go like this….
“Oh gosh he flinched as I tightened his girth… is there something wrong with him? Maybe I should I call the vet… but the vet will think I’m stupid… no I’m imagining things… I always do that… maybe I shouldn’t ride today just in case…. but that’s giving in… I’m so stupid…. I’ll never be able to improve as a rider… in fact I’ll never be able to improve as a person… oh no this is awful… I’ll ask a friend to have a look at him for me… what if there is something wrong? I’ll never be able to cope if there’s something wrong with him…. I’m so useless… I don’t know what to do… everyone must think I’m stupid… I don’t deserve to have a horse… he’d be better off with someone else… AAARGGHHHH!!!”
Are you exhausted yet?! I am!
Overthinking is very closely related to the other mindset issues I have been looking at recently so check back at my previous blog and there will be one more piece in this series.
My five tips to help with overthinking
1. Stop the loop
When you catch yourself over thinking with thoughts in a loop say a word like STOP (to yourself or out loud) to break the cycle. Take some deep breaths and prepare to take some action.
2. Focus on the now
Bring yourself back into the moment. What exactly is going on right now? What can you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? Your control lies in the present moment, not in the past or the future.
3. Shift focus
Shift from problem-focussed thinking to solution focussed thinking. What was the original thought? What can you do about that? Is it a genuine problem? If so, seek help or advice from someone you trust.
4. Acknowledge your fears
Acknowledge any worries or fears that you may have, lean into them rather than trying to bury them or push them away. What are your fears? Take action to address them.
5. Take care of yourself
Manage your stress levels by eating well, taking exercise, spending time in nature, seeking out supportive friends, asking for help, resting.
Remember that you don’t have to be alone when your confidence is low and your mind isn’t helping you so please do seek support if you need it.
If you would like to find out more about Jane and Horse Riding with Confidence Scotland you can follow her on social media or visit her website.
Jane has written a series of blogs for EquiTeam, search through our blogs here to find some more.
