Jane Brindley of Horse Riding with Confidence Scotland works with riders of all levels helping them with confidence and mindset issues. In this latest blog Jane shares her top tips for dealing with feeling out of control and self limiting beliefs. You can read the previous blog here – Dealing with perfectionism and overthinking.
Coping when you feel out of control
Feeling out of control on horseback can be very frightening. I’m sure that we have all been in that situation at times but these tips are really for those times when you might be telling yourself that you have no control, but in fact those are just thoughts or beliefs and in reality, you’re perfectly capable of riding your horse and taking part in the activities that you choose to do.
- Top five tips
1. Your skillset
This is a tricky one but an important one. Before going any further ask yourself the important question “Do I have the skills and experience necessary to ride this horse?”. If the answer is “Yes” then the issue is coming from your mind and these tips will help. If the answer is “No” then seek advice from a qualified and experienced riding coach about what you can do to gain that skill and experience.
2. Ride in the moment
Work on riding “in the moment”. This helps you to avoid trying to predict the future or dwell on the past. Remind yourself…
IF AT ANY MOMENT IN TIME YOUR HORSE IS MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR CHOICE AT THE PACE OF YOUR CHOICE THEN ALL IS WELL!
3. Comfort/stretch zone
How far out of your comfort zone are you? If you worry about being out of control then it makes sense to ride on the border of your comfort zone and your stretch/learning zone. That way you aren’t going to over- face yourself but just set yourself a challenge that you can handle.
4. What is in your control?
Work on focusing on all the things which you CAN control e.g. your position in the saddle, your equipment (having a neck strap to hang on to if need be), where and when you ride, who you ride with and so on.
5. Focus on your breathing
Learn and practice a calming breathing technique such as in for five and out for five which has been shown to be the optimal rate for helping the different parts of your nervous system to remain in harmony.
Breathing in calmness and breathing out any tension. This allows your stress hormones to settle back into a more comfortable range.
Dealing with self limiting beliefs
Self Limiting beliefs are things about ourselves which we assume to be true which hold us back or limit our ability to progress. We may have had these beliefs for many years and hardly be aware of them but they can have a profound effect on our behaviour and our ability to fulfil goals – or even try to set goals!
For example “I will never be able to do ‘that’” “I am not good enough to try X” “I will only ever be the way I am now.”
- Top five tips
1. Listen to yourself
Start by listening to the words you tell yourself when you are thinking about trying something new or achieving something with your horse. This will help you to identify what you believe about yourself so that you can begin to challenge those beliefs which aren’t helping you.
2. What is true?
Assess the facts. What is this belief based on? Is it true? How do you know? Have you ever tested it out to see if it’s true?
That belief has been like an anchor holding you down. What would it be like to let the anchor go and float free of it?
3. Change the narrative
Change the narrative – the story you are telling yourself. Instead of “I can’t do X!” change it to “I’m going to learn how to do X. Practice hard, seek some support and it will get easier as I learn”.
4. Ask for help
Seek support as you learn to do the very thing that you had previously been telling yourself wasn’t possible. Choose someone experienced and well qualified to help you.
5. See how far you've come!
As you go through the learning process applaud yourself and be proud and you make progress. Before you know it the very thing you had believed you couldn’t do becomes perfectly do-able and you will soon be able to look back with a smile and have the strength to tackle any other beliefs which have been holding you back.
I hope this series of mindset tips has been useful for you. Please feel free to ask any questions or to reach out for more support if you need it.
Jane x
If you would like to find out more about Jane and Horse Riding with Confidence Scotland you can follow her on social media or visit her website.
Jane has written a series of blogs for EquiTeam, search through our blogs here to find some more.
